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01 September 2014 @ 09:49 pm
Parents... Thank God for normal one I have  
Working at school, I see many kind of family issues. Like when I'm inputting children's data, some of them only have one parent's name on birth certificate but when comparing the date of the parent's wedding day, the wedding is earlier. Why not registered your child as yours? Last month we got request from one parent. She planned on changing the father's name of her daughter's birth certificate into her current husband and she asked us to change father's name on the kid's report too (we use data from birth certificate). She said her daughter never know that her father isn't her biological father and she always covered the data page on her reports and only showed her daughter her result. We do agree (cos we can't argue anyway, it's legal) as long as she give us copy of the new certificate. My friend & I just thought 'is it okay for them to hide the truth from their daughter like that'. Her biological father isn't dead anyway. They got divorced before she was born. What if someday he comeback to visit his daughter, will she be okay. Her daughter is a sweet girl & still have some childhood's cuteness. I hope she'll be alright even if one day she finally learn the truth.

[Another story that make me asking ]Another story: few days ago a guy coming to school asking to meet his daughter (which is still studying in class). This guy just come out of prison for domestic violence (I don't know the detail, whether he abused his wife or daughter or both). The mother came to our principal when she was registering her daughter explaining that she ran away from home (they lived abroad) with her kids and only bring few clothes here. They live in her family's house. She called her husband crazy and ask us to never let him get near her children. We agree and give his pic to all security members. So when he came, security won't let him inside but he can force himself in. But he was stopped at teacher on duty desk. The teacher told him 'it's still study time no parents allowed to visit their children unless there's urgent matter.'. Meanwhile we try to call her mom and grandma to let them know that the father came to school. He stay downstair for awhile even crying too. One of teacher call the student out of class and ask her if probably she want to meet her dad, she refused so one of counselor accompanying her in case she need someone. I don't know how long he stay or if the mother already come then he go away.

Previously when the principal told us her story about the violence that happened for years, my friend & I thought 'how could it happened for years and you just running away now' because her family is RICH, and she look well (ah lack for better word). I mean she doesn't look like victim of domestic violence with bruises or distress looks. She look cheer up enough & chatty. I thought 'oh maybe she don't have enough money to run away and fly back here' but just one call from her to her family, they can afford picking her up right away. So 'oh maybe there are other reasons, whatever those are we don't know'.

The next day the school counselor told us she met the mother and talk to her. She admitting that she like being abused. She like it when her husband hit her cause he would shower her with love and attention after that. They got divorced cos her family forced her to do that not because she want to. They leave the house because of her daughter which is our student. She's 2nd child, her older sister has intellectual disability so she doesn't understand much, and her younger brother is only 4/5yo. So she's the one who have witnessed the most of what happened.

Until that part I thought 'probably the mother is sadomasochist and it's their preference if they have kink like that'. But then my friend told us that he hit their daughter. And I was 'whoa... this can't be right'.
The daughter act normal (I mean like normal teenage her age) at school but at home she start violent toward her mother. Calling her bitch and rude to her. From the mother pov: she act just like her father. I can understand where her anger came from. 'Why mom love dad more than us her children. She stay with dad for years even if he act like that. She let him beat us' So I said : 'wouldn't it be healthier if they live separately for awhile so the daughter can solve her personal issues first?' But my friend said: 'she's the only one who keeping her mother from going back to her dad cos she's the one that forced her mother to run away'. Her mother even admit that she still love her ex-husband. My only thought: 'is she crazy???' What you do in your bedroom is between you & your partner, but if he abuse his children too, that wasn't kink anymore right? That is abuse. And mother why you let him???

My friend said her experience & knowledge do not enough in this case. She asked for outsider's help, more experienced senior psychologist that school always used for student psychological test, talent mapping. She suggest both mother & daughter seeking for psychologist help cos she can only help the daughter in school. She need more than that. I hope they really do it. For the sake of those children.

Another one I heard from my friend in high school: one kid have parents who like to have sex in front of her. It traumatized her. I never wanna see my parents have sex even now that I'm adult. I know they do it, I just don't wanna see it. If I had ever caught them in the act (cos we all sleep on the same bed until 4th grade - my old house was small, only have 1 bedroom, when I sleep alone my bed was on the dining room) I don't remember probably I was too little to understand. Anyway what parents do that on purpose?

Days at school could be very interesting sometimes.